#Entertainment: What About Becky, Now? @Beyoncé's Lemonade Highlights The Reality Of Relationships
- Dating, For Fellas, For Ladies, Lifestyle
If Beyoncé can get cheated on that leaves us all non-famous artists with Dreamcatchers that don’t work, fucked.
Albeit the most clever emotional soliloquy and business ploy I have ever witnessed, “Lemonade” tackles logic, emotion, and the stages of betrayal in a way that's whimsical and poetic, yet full of rage. The rawness of this musical movie is what most are calling “game-changing,” but what we are all seeing is necessary in the clutter of sub-par creativity and the over-saturation of entrepreneurs and self-professed bloggers.
I want her marketing.
All my life I've been cheated on repeatedly and when, like B, ‘I kept it sexy and fun’… I still found an ex fiancé of mine in a jacuzzi with the woman he later impregnated and married. It’s always a fear. Now that I’m older, and by older I mean my ripe browning-banana age of over 30, my perspective is that love is something I can’t control and something that was never left up to me to control.
“When did love become elusive?” Beyoncé asks.
Love, from my experience becomes elusive when relationships focus more on the ‘getting’ than on the ‘keeping.’ Relationships are full time jobs of flirting, friendship, and the building of timelines that eventually meet goals and of course heartache. So many negative feelings can spin out of what’s wrong in a relationship and a lifestyle, and less of what’s right in a relationship. We should always focus on the latter, but as humans we never do. Partners should always be chosen for the way they react in a crisis and how they deal with pain since life will have an abundant share of situations that hurt. Partners should also be praised wildly for the way they share their outlook on life (internally and externally) and the way they praise the accomplishments and show appreciation of others. Without those key relationship elements, the people within that relationship will be pushed to the back burner while seemingly more important things become the priority. I’ve watched it happen, a few times to me, a few times to people I’m closest to. I watched it happen to my Dad. I watched it happen to one of my mentors. I’ve watched it happen and happen and happen.
Time is a clock that can only take. If we don’t make the people we love know it, and often times when we do, there is no guarantee they won’t betray us. The guarantee comes from the self-love they have for themselves, the respect and appreciation they were taught as a child, and the type of praise, admiration, and advice they choose to take in from the people they allow in their circles, not just their partner's love. There are many experiences and emotional decisions that make a cheater, a liar, or even just a deceitful person, and those experiences are more internal than external. More of a ‘feeling’ than a ‘knowing,’ I know this because the one question I’ve always asked each of my cheating exes is without any thought… why? We all what to know why.
And the answer… the ones that were brave enough to answer the question because they knew I was crazy, but knew I wasn’t ‘carry a bat down the street banging out car windows’-crazy or ‘blow up our house’-crazy, like Beyoncé does so amazingly in Lemonade… [sidebar: I wish I had the heart and wouldn’t get arrested] …Each of these ex boyfriends, these people I loved so much, these people I worked hard to keep happy managed to slowly and remorsefully admit they truly didn’t know why they cheated. They don’t know because some time within the relationship they caught a ‘feeling’ instead of a ‘knowing’ and feelings can trump even the highest form of intellect at even less than heightened emotional states.
"You ain't tryin’ hard enough, we ain't reachin' peaks enough.”
And then there’s the “what you ain’t doin’” part. Many glamorize what other people in their relationships are doing or what other people are doing better than the person they love. Everyone does it. Comparison is jealousy’s cousin. Neither of them play nice or do any good.
Lemonade gives more middle-finger-up anthems, in the songs ‘Sorry” and ‘Hold Up.’ B leaves less to be guessed with prose adapted from poet Warsan Shire. All hail the power of poetry. The visuals are in no better way — epic — for the monologue scenes, and I am in her feelings completely when I hear this chorus.
Can't you see there's no other man above you? What a wicked way to treat the girl who loves you?
What's worse looking jealous or crazy? Jealous or CrAzY?
What's worse being walked all over lately? I'd rather be crazy!
-Lyrics from “Hold Up,” Beyoncé
Bravo. I’ve been here, I think so many have. At what point does appearing insecure not matter as much as knowing the truth? I suppose it’s at the exact moment when you worry more about getting caught “looking insecure.” At that point, it doesn’t matter because your suspicions are high enough to consider the possibility that your loved one isn't who you thought they were. Decisions are important because they make us who we are.
I’ll say, I’ve rarely had a suspicion about a liar I didn’t find out later to be true, at least partially. But this is in my own experience.
“If you try this shit again, ‘gon lose your wife.”
Not that all marriages or relationships can survive suspicion or infidelity, but this type of threat/ultimatum can only be used once and I feel in her position and for many others, one chance to be reminded of how quickly the people you love can be lost is warranted. True ‘take care of you when you’re sick’-love or what I like to call ‘give you a kidney’-love, ebbs and flows. Real love is always on a roller coaster with no tracks.
“Ima keep running 'cause a winner don’t quit on themselves.”
I was already in love with Beyoncé’s work, but with this album I feel like it not only empowers women like a lot of her work, but it actually inspires men to appreciate their woman, or if not be a bit more cognizant (or fearful, even) of the repercussions of their decisions to be unfaithful and what it means to destroy a partnership, a family or a life.
Your thoughts? Leave a comment.
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