- Dating, For Fellas, For Ladies, Humor, Lifestyle
I have never been a fan of bluffery. Bluff to me is like too much cotton candy, a few pinches and it melts in your mouth, but overdo it just a tad and you've earned yourself a surefire stomach ache, pungent with regret. I begin my story. I used to be the 'salad eating girl,' the Julia Roberts in the movie Runaway Bride, or maybe Katherine Heigl in 27 dresses. Long story, I made up who I was in order to best conform to the person in front of me. This served me well in my many years in marketing, sales, and rapport building in member retention and developing business relationships. As for personal relationships I find it's the worst thing a person can do, and I catch myself in it still sometimes reminding myself, This should be for my own happiness. And then I go make a pot of tea about it all. There are so many people who want to 'seem' kind by setting their own feelings aside for another, or 'seem' thoughtful by going out of their way for someone else, but never for themselves. This is the very first red flag for me. After a date with a vegetarian, all of a sudden I catch myself in phrases like 'O, I haven't eaten red meat in such a long time, it's actually starting to smell funny to me.' Just had a sourdough jack the other day, and it was tasty.
Or rather: out with friends that smoke, when I'm heavily allergic to even the thought of smoking; as I stand there happily breathing the toxic fumes, no filter, pretending I'm not trying to hold my breath and hope that they don't notice I'm choking to my hot smoky death. Yes, you got it, stupid.
This has since changed, and when I catch myself reverting back to the 'old me,' I simply tell her, 'stop the bluffery.' So much of happiness depends on choices, and those choices need to include doing things that you enjoy, then can later be meshed with other things you love doing for you, your family, and your friends, while staying true to who you are. When you conform to someone else's ideals too often, without compromise or consideration of your own responsibilities to yourself - not only does complacency set in; but it also breeds resentment.
"In case of an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first before assisting others."
I don't know about my readers, but I have a lot more patience to hear about someone's day and therefore take much better care of someone else after I have eaten, received a Jacuzzi bath, and had a glass of champagne. No?
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