Is This Selfish?
- Dating, For Fellas, For Ladies, Humor
I'm a sensually sexual person. But it comes second to comfort. And there's a good chance that there are 95 things that go on in my life in one hour, that make me uncomfortable. I fight them: Spiders scare me. Headaches annoy me. Neurotic eruptions. Delusional allergies. Slow uninteresting commentary. Shame. Disappointment. A dirty unorganized house. Lack of ambition. Worry. Fear. Fear. Fear. Fear of you leaving, fear of your thoughts, fear of your lack of interest, fear of your over-sure-ness, your narcissism, fear of you not feeling the way I feel about you for me. If I am at least 80% comfortable and those fears are addressed and not left up to MISINTERPRETATION, we'll be making love until tomorrow's tomorrow room service requested, please be well rested. Anyway, I was dating a guy once that wanted to talk about everything beforehand. He text me to see if I was busy before he called. He'd ask me while I was on the date with him, if I was having a good time? (Space-filler conversation? Or really can't tell by my body language if the time we are having is good?) He went in heaps and tore through boundaries to assure men he understood me. Why not listen to me more, before you proclaim? The fact is that if he understood me, he'd know that the part that was good was the planning, the part that was bad was there was no unexpected surprise. If you have to text me to ASK me if you CAN call, don't bother calling me. If you have to ask me WHILE ON THE DATE if I am 'having fun' you aren't paying attention. Why not ask me after the time is over how it was for me? And if you constantly reassure me that you understand, then why aren't I comfortable enough to be jumping in your jacuzzi tub naked? I'm just sayin'? I agree that women want to be desired at all times, but only want men to act on it when they're in the mood. Why? Because we want:
The man that is so in sync with us that it makes us comfortable to know he thoroughly grasps the situation and has empathy, tolerance, knowledge and comprehension of her mind set. The man that knows when the hug is needed, when the anger is called for, when talking it out is necessary, when it's time for tea, when wine might suffice, when we need a patron shot, and when reading to me is better.
I've never been the person that didn't 'Take Care.' I will fold up the clothes, whip up the chicken and scampi dinner, light the candles, discuss your boring ass work protocol, bring you a beer, throw a cover over you if you fall asleep, and think of you as much (if not more) than I think about myself. Is it too much to ask that I be comfortable?
Is it selfish that my comfort level, for me, comes first?
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