Should I Answer?
- Dating, Humor
Some days, I just don't feel well. And those days, are most days, these days. I wonder when luck will buck. When the sunlight will beam through the wall I've probably built too high. What have I lost since I've come undone? How much of me? If there's a break, will I fall through it or receive it? Albert Camus said 'A work of art is a confession.' Maybe I'm done bleeding. What. Was. I. Thinking? Where were you when you were needed? How come you couldn't see through that? What's going to be the difference? Nothing is for better or worse, that I've seen yet. If you keep pretending it might get better, it doesn't move at all. I should have played with more dolls when I was little, more easy bake ovens, more puzzles, more role-playing. Less pens and composition booklets. I'd be more equipped for the real world. And then again Camus also said:
'You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.' - Albert Camus
How come when it rains there are no gutters for me? There's no 'safe word,' there's no 'Easy Button?' How come when he speaks in my dreams does it still sound like a lullaby? And I'm a big girl. With a soft blanket, that's been watching Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit for five days straight, and I still feel sorry for myself. Every time I wake up, my characters are still asleep. How I will manage? Who cares enough? If any of this was ever worth it? How do you know when your sacrifices were worth it? When do I give up if they weren't? Where is my fucking broomstick and when Ryan Gosling will call me. When he does, should I answer? This is what I think of.
Picture from Pinterest. Thank you.
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