5 Ways You Can Piss Me Off in 3 Minutes
- Lifestyle, Raunch
- If you are talking to me — specifically, and I am talking to you, specifically, and you make unnecessary noises, gestures, conversation with others entirely off-topic, off-kilter, out-the-triangular box, pretend there is something clearly less-urgent that matters more to you, or respond in a way that does not cater to the blending of ideas, the venting, the “brainy session” the fact that you can’t manage to ward off your OCD/your tendency to be a less special for one moment so I can feel more special when I am talking — in the hopes you care at all. You have clearly not chosen to listen to the mantra “surround yourself with better people,” when instead you should venture to be that better person someone might want to be around. And then it is your turn to talk. Fly guy.
- If you speak down in tone, nature, or clarify (through means of understanding/giving explanations) in a way that seems cocky or off-handed, name drop, cause a mini-ruckus around me, attempt to coerce or confuse me for personal gain. I’m immediately taken aback.
- If your teeth or breath are disturbing. C’mon, this is pissening.
- If I do not know you, and you make valiant animated accusations, if you are not polite and/or humble, and if you are in any way pushy about any matter whether it involves a think tank, a head nod, or if you louden your voice. Do not attempt to louden your voice around me.
- If you have made a correction based on an assumption, you have not waited for a response before additional accusation, you attempt to make me look bad/rather than form an alliance that speaks volumes for us both. You are so left-brained you cannot imagine any other subjective reactions, your way or the high, way-off or far-away behaviors supersede relevance. You don’t know how to brainstorm. You annoy me.
Sidenote: Most things piss me off, I still know how to be cupcake.
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