• Can I Teach You How To Make Promises?

  • Can I Teach You How To Make Promises?
  • Posted by: Lalanii, March 15, 2012
  • He doesn't make promises. I'd like to know a bigger why beyond just any 'ole response, and yet, I'm stutterstuck.I've heard this 'no promises' rule before, actually. From many people.I think it's the idea that if you make a person a promise, there's a chance you'll break it. You know, the general consensus is 'promises were made to be broken.'The question I pose here is if a person is so put off by the possibility that they might break a promise; wouldn't one think longer about the weight of a promise fulfilled, and the heaviness in overall comfort that could bring?In addition, I ponder, are those who don't cram up at making a promise seemingly 'born better' than those who aren't brave enough to promise anyone anything? Because I speak from the experiences of having been made a promise a person has kept, and having made promises I've kept, (run-on sentence) in addition to making a promise I haven't kept, and having a person break a promise to me and to many others [breathe here] I feel inclined to bring up this matter.What do I remember more than the broken promise?—What great lengths the fallen promise-maker went through to cushion the blow and fix the broken-ness.What stays with me more than that broken promise that was once made to me?—The memory I have of a kept promise. One outweighs the other triumphantly. You know that one thing that 'perfect' person promised and did well—way-back—when all I could see was the rights instead of the wrongs? The memory of that promise being carried out and the indulgence and support that single colorful moment was. A kept promise is truly the best spell anyone's ever put on me.***A promise is important because of its temperature. It's tone. It's secrecy. It's closeness. It's 'make-believe-turned real' factor.A promise is important because it builds rapport. It furthermore builds confidence in a person, and we all know that confidence, builds trust.A promise is important to me because it speaks magnitudes beyond one's character. I don't mean ity-bity promises. I actually mean the larger ones. But we have to start small, a steady pace.A promise is important to me because it is a telltale sign of the future, and because a promise—especially the wittier it is—is revealing and induces as well as presents vulnerability.A promise is important to me, personally, because I'm a writer and there's got to be something a person believes in like magic. At least one thing. My thing is words, specifically, your words.P.s. I don't believe in magic much; I'm an optimistic-realist. This is otherwise known as an [cough, oxymoron] 'hope for the best, plan for the worst type of person.'What I'm eventually addressing isn't a promise similar to: 'I promise to be your friend forevermore,' as one might say in grade school. In grade school we don't know the reality of people falling together or apart. But I don't mean frivolous or wonderful promises at all. No one is without fail, flaw, or falter, and I included, but I'm referring to if a person can:START SMALL: Because promising another person is ultimately promising oneself. I believe we should all start with goals (otherwise known as promises) for ourselves. Not only because 'a person is only as good as his or her word,' but because you get to witness a person's 'try.' You get to see someone put something they've said into action, and hopefully it's something qualifiable (quality wise/something you can see happening) and tangible (something you can touch/again, witness). Promise yourself. Deliver. Rinse, repeat.BUILD A PROMISE-PLAN. A bullet-pointed list, set a reminder on your phone of a promise you have, a pop-up, write it on your hand, post-it, live-it—start a new life of it to help it infiltrate your reluctance. Remember if it takes 21 days to form a habit, some promises will take at least that much time just to get used to the new idea.AFFIRMATION. Look stupid for your promise. That's the point, it's a commitment. Say it out loud. To the air. Talk it out to yourself, and then... tell someone other than the person you promised about it. It holds you more accountable for what you've promised.Well, what to the person who says 'to hell with promising you, they'd rather 'show' you?' Well, OoOo diddly. That means, if they come up short it doesn't matter, they haven't promised you a damn thing. You don't mean much. There's no contract, which intrinsically is what a promise is.Well, why then, when playing pool is it game point to call '8 ball corner pocket' and then make your 8 ball in the corner pocket?Because you did what you've said you would.I believe in people making promises, but obviously only promises at their level of commitment. If someone is fully embellished by someone romantically, then promise so. If your kid wants something but can't have it now, promise it and make it happen, if you need something—promise yourself and pull it off.It's never about if I would spend an eternity with a person, or if I could I see myself marrying? Yadaya. Although it can be largely assumed one isn't marriage/long-term-friendly if he can't make one promise to you. Essentially it comes down to if he can follow the discipline he gives to himself?The man that can, I'd like to hold his hand and no one else's.
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