Where are you now when I need you? ~Jackü (w/Justin Bieber presented by Skillrex and Diplo because I like to rock the house all emo and still wax intellectually stimulating jargon, read on...)
I feel like these two lines in a song, and these two excerpts from one of my favorite poetry books along with two excerpts from a wonderful motivational writer sum up my life right now. Jackü. Jon Westenberg. Bob Hicok. WHAT? So I mesh together entertainment, relationships and literature? Get over it.
[Side/prose about the title of this piece]
I gotta make sure I stop losing the keys to my door what with all this natural light my life lets in. Lol. My bestie would say, sleep, and get to the next day, you're ok. But I want so much bigger. It looks a lot easier than it is. More on that later in the week. Everyone is an Instagram star. I'm in consultations with deities about me being a light pink moon.
I was recently asked what's important to me in my life. I can't believe I answered so honestly:
WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS WHAT EVERYONE THINKS -- SPECIFICALLY: WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT.
What's important to me is what inspires people, what creative people think about. Why? Because I can streamline the painful blank pageness and add more fluidity to the process, and, better than that... I can add some purpose to my own life while entertaining and inspiring others. I can feel fulfilled, because all these shoes I can't take with me when my red carpets are over. But hopefully something I've said will resonate with someone out there.
list is more thorough so please read it, but I elaborated on his reasons for why he writes, because most of them are similar to why I
write... (mine being first, his following second)
1. PURPOSE: Writing is something I can do alone and still inspire and entertain others.
Writing is the only career that has ever felt right to me. When I write I belong.
2. IT SCARES ME: I have [so far] done everything that scares me and it has gone very well for me. Why would I stop now? I should be writing more.
Writing enables me to discover things about myself that I never knew.
3. I LOVE PEOPLE: Online, offline. Hello. I'm here and I'm very alone, kik me, call me, text me, email me, say hi.
I write to meet people and to connect with others who I might never have had any contact with otherwise.
4. CREATIVITY IS MY WORLD: There is no better feeling than knowing what you are meant to do. O wait, there is. Doing it.
My readers are creatives and artists and entrepreneurs who are making incredible things. When I can inspire them, I play a part in their process.
Writing is a skill that can be applied to and is needed by every industry, technology and platform.
6. TIRELESS EFFORT, DELEGATION SKILLS, ADVERTISING: I think I can I think I can I think I can. I kinda did.
Writing demonstrates more than just an ability to put words on a page – it shows dedication, project management and marketing. It can be a point of professional differentiation.
7. MY DIARIES AND JOURNALS ARE EPIC: And now that I'm far removed from certain situations, other young lost individuals can learn without the expense of my mistakes.
Writing can help me relax and breathe and take stock of my life.
8. WRITING RUNS THE WORLD: I've written for family members, agencies, startups, blogs, whatevs, there is no position I've had that hasn't heavily involved writing.
People want and need great content, they’re reaching out for it and searching for it.
9. I AM MY OWN HOT MESS. At least my mess is hot tho? It's not cold. Who wants a cold mess?
My thoughts are my own and could never come the same way from anyone else. Because everyone is unique. That’s amazing.
10. I AM NARCISSISTIC AND PRIDEFUL (most writers are?) AND WHEN I'M NOT HERE I DEFINITELY WANT PEOPLE TO REMEMBER ME AS CREATIVE. HEADSTONE: LALANII = CREATIVE. LOL.
I want people to one day look up to me the way I look up to the writers that I love and respect. I know that sounds egotistical, but I don’t care. It’s honest.
He also has a snippet in one of his latest here
, where he talks about creating things people give a sh*t about and this:
Have you ever watched one of those reality TV singing competitions? You’ve probably seen a hundred young people, eyes shining, clutching microphones and talking about their dreams. They’ll explain that ever since they were kids, they wanted to be singers.
They hardly ever say they wanted to sing. When it comes down to it, half the time it’s because actually singing isn’t the end goal. They want the trappings and lifestyle and the breaks of being a singer.
If the act of singing was really their end goal, they wouldn’t be on a reality TV show. They’d be out there every night singing anywhere they could, writing songs, starting bands, recording music.
The same is true for anything you could make. Do you want to make X, or do you want to be the person who made X? Because if you don’t care about the act of making something, and if you don’t want to get out there every day and try to make something, you might as well quit."
Such is true. Can we not want the trappings of the lifestyle, anddddd the craft? I want to sit down next to the most creative people in the world and talk about creativity. And weirdness. I already have and do actually. I am also a writer who writes even if, and quite often when no one is reading. But I will also partake in random meanders on reality shows, hosting, ghostwriting, blogging, and anything creative. Because who wants no one to read them? Writing is already lonely enough.
A friend of mine asked me what makes me happy. Loaded ques, but ok, simply:
O, and when I'm cleaning up my room and open to this all highlighted by me (on accident) this good stuff:
But seriously ouch.
And the world, one day, had a second sky,
a sky for just the sky
to stare up and deepblue
and into, and a lake for the lake
to dive giggling in
and doggypaddle across, and a new
and soon improved her
sitting there mid-life
grinning brights, grinning hard-core
and full-bore and seriously
madcap happy about a knife.
- Bob Hicok, Words For Empty and Words For Full
I was looking for happiness once upon a time, but I think it's true, it only matters how we get there.
Like everyone always says...
The time is going to pass anyway.
You might as well do what you love.
"There is an end, and how we get to the end is all that matters."
-Bob Hicok, Words For Empty and Words For Full
Banner image and thumbnail by the very amazing: Steve Cutts
Music Credit: Where Are You Now, Jackü (Justin Bieber, presented by Skillrex and Diplo)