• Relationships: 3 Reasons Dating F*ck Boys Is Out

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  • Relationships: 3 Reasons Dating F*ck Boys Is Out
  • Posted by: Lalanii, February 10, 2016
  • 1. You can’t love a fuckboy.



    So don’t try. The problem we all have, not just women but also men too… is we tend to want/need/lust after someone emotionally or otherwise unavailable. If a person wants you, they show you. They make advances, they chase, they check-in, they say hello; they ensure you don’t forget how much they’re thinking of you. If you are falling for a fuckboy (and for lack of being able to address both sides for the men) I say this and only this. DON’T.



    Two best definitions for what I’m referring to here can be found on Urban Dictionary:



    Fuckboi [fuck-boi] 



    A guy who tries to get with everyone. A player. A guy who will lie to a girl to make them hook up with them or send pics. They think they are the shit when they aren't. A guy who will only date a girl for their body. A total ass. A guy that will make a girl cry and laugh, and a guy who lies when they said I love you.



    fuckboi  | fuck·boy



    :The male equivalent of a basic bitchI thought he wanted to be exclusive but it turns out he was playing me. What a fuckboi.



    I speak from experience. Sometimes the heart tells you you want something or you think it will better your life, and then, after a healthy dose of nothing, you find it doesn’t. Get out right then. Don’t wait around for the ultimate fuckboy to prove he’s even more of a fuckable Power Ranger than you’d originally thought. There’s intuition, there’s promises, and then there’s the fact that this foo just quacks like a duck.



    Case in point:



    One time I kinda fell for the fuckboy, wait don’t judge. We all have. And let me go back, I didn’t kinda… I did. I started to tell myself it was ok that the majority of the time he wanted to spend with me was at night. *Hint #1. Then, I started to tell myself the other part, that it was ok the only time he made conversation with me was in quick spurts and scuttles of in-between all the other sh*t he did daily that was obviously so much more important. *Hint #2.  



    But then, something happened. And I say this, only to help you all to avoid making the same mistake I did.



    I convinced myself that how he felt about me, had nothing to do with my feelings for him, and that was ok… and to some instance it is, *if you are ready for that decision. My feelings were so strong.



    I can bet you my last silver dollar the lust felt so much like love… I could even justify it with heart palpitations and restlessness. And then,



    WE HAD SEX.



    Mediocre, unromantic, basic. ‘Get up because we’re done’ sex.



    The flowers didn’t chirp in the window the way I wanted them to so badly.



    The birdies never grew in my solitude. I didn’t bloom.



    The relationship, or lack thereof… was doomed.



    After I got over my initial hatred of myself… and the fact that what I thought of him he didn’t of me, I told myself I would try, try not to call him and he’d then call me because that’s the way it works right?



    This idiot continuously forgot.



    Never called back.



    Actually stood my *ss up a time or two believe it or not.



    Here I am, over here hoping and thinking and crossing fingers looking at horoscopes aligning our zodiac signs because I don’t know enough real information about him, and he was…



    Quite plainly, and painfully… JUST NOT THAT INTO ME… for lack of a lesser comparison.



    I loved this fool. Would have married him, had his children, in fact was hoping for such a chore and this fool couldn’t even remember we had a damn date. I was not ready for that decision, not one bit.



    I quickly came to the realization (well actually not quickly, this was 3-4 months of checking his social media feeds wondering why he had so much time to be online, and yet not with me) …he didn’t want me. Not only did he not need me {which I thought the emotional connection we had during sex meant he did} but he didn’t want me, not even a bit at all. He was a fuckboy. That would have been ok if I knew that, but I didn’t. But he was the worst kind of fuckboy, a cowardly fuckboy, who would pretend he had feelings he didn’t, and speak of feelings that didn’t exist. He was the kind of fuckboy that was a side effect of having been a fuckboy for a very long time. He was the kind that told you whatever you wanted to hear to get whatever he wanted. He was a graduated fuckboy. 4.0 student graduating with honors from the University of LetDowns, and let me tell you… he was not ready to admit it.  



    He was interested in conquering, he was finished, and he was done.



    He was also practice for the real man who would come along and swoop me all the way off my feet into cloudland, or rather closetland. Which I strongly prefer.



    2. You can’t depend on a fuckboy.



    The problem with this and many situationships is frankly, you can’t depend on them. People dislike titles, but titles give you the authority to hold someone emotionally responsible for their actions. For this and this reason alone I say: I understand a bond between two people fucking, I understand the bond between situationships, and oftentimes you can count on them, but the difference is… I can’t actually say to my fuckboy that I’m upset because he let me down, because he (in most cases) hasn’t promised to do anything for me other than fuck me.



    Find me a fuckboy you can depend on for anything other than the aforementioned and I’ll tell you he’s not just a fuckboy - when he can 1UP you - and has shown you that he is also, taddaaaaaaa… a coward. He’s even more of a coward than a fuckboy – so stick with the fuckboy option, if given the choice between the two.



    Those who can do better and choose not to, are often worse than those who don’t know any better or who don’t ever bother to ask the woman if she wants any more than she does. Basic fuckboys are very clear with their intentions, and a lot of women just tend to make up better ideas of who they ‘can be’ to them. Cowardly fuckboys lie to you and pretend they want more; the latter is far more dangerous.



    3. They’re usually more drama than they’re worth.



    The drama is one thing, but your safety and wellbeing mentally, emotionally and physically is a whole ‘nother ballgame. Anyone who doesn’t take responsibility for the way you feel about ANY situation he may or may not have put you is a fuckboy if he doesn’t bother to speak these simple words:



    “Are you ok?”



    … he is NOT, I repeat, NOT worth your time. And even if he asks if you are ok, there are still many signs of him being the type of person that fucks with no regard. There are a lot of issues that come with fuckboys, specifically because likely if they’re fuckboys - you aren’t the only ones they’re fucking. But aside from the pregnancy or STI scares, it’s still the relationship you have with said fuckipoo that does the most longstanding damage; unless you’re stuck with a kid or something incurable. I’m not telling you to date down, I’m not telling you to settle. I’m telling you to wait. I’m telling myself to wait. I’m telling women and men all over the place to wait, wait until the right person who deserves you makes the right moves to prove that to you.



    Until then, in the words of my Mom “sit still, girl.” Because good heavens knows my tail can’t do that.



    But… if it means my overall wellbeing and health?



    Let’s go Cheerio. Hurry up and wait.



    Follow Me on Twitter and Instagram @Lalanii



    Relationship Blogger F Boy Inline


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