• Lifestyle: Happy Birthday To My Everything - An Open Run-On Sentence

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  • Lifestyle: Happy Birthday To My Everything - An Open Run-On Sentence
  • Posted by: Lalanii, December 3, 2015
  • Dear Tye, 

    Who has so narcissistically come into my room as I am writing this banging my light pink pot and pan set together in both hands announcing his birthday, yes, we have grown up together, you have become something I never ever imagined and I never saw any of this in my future because I was so young when you were born, you are smarter, stronger, meaner, funnier, and way more calculated than I will ever be, I am so happy I have you, even when you have weaseled me out of yet another $20, when you have not washed the dog, when you and your friends need rides to the mall and the movies, when there are pizza boxes and soda cans all over my floor, table, and stove top, when you have not called to check-in, but before you left you managed to barge into my room to see yourself in my full-length mirror, when you have begged me to drive my car and I have said no because my heart can't take that kind of torture, when I have said no to your nagging, but you, you are so conniving you, you, have heard yes, when you have fought me and talked back to me, when you have come to lay across my bed because you are bored and want to talk - but I have been me, in love with my craft and I have not looked up once from my computer, but I swear I have heard every single word you have said, and then I have mistakenly said yes to something I meant to say no to, and when I have told you I loved you so much that I can't stand to see you fail, and you have rolled your eyes, and you have sat down to watch tv and in two seconds you have figured out the killer first on SVU - but I knew the brother was shady too, and when you have not done your homework - but you get pissed because I won't write a note excusing you, and when I have looked over at you across the table in meetings with your principal and coach and counselor and I have seen everything in your eyes of what you want to be, and who you are now, and what you've become, and where you are going, but you have made yet another excuse for another excuse for your other excuses, when you have lied and I have caught you, damn you, I have caught you again, when you have tricked my dad and told a complete alternate version of the story to my mom and sister, and to your grandparents on the other side, well hell - you just flat out lie to them, and we end up laughing, because you are imaginary and you get it honestly, c’mon your mom makes up stories for a living, and you are "bad" in every sense of the word, but you are "good" in every sense of my world, and you are great for the world because you are so great at every, single, little thing you put your mind to, even when you are red-wrong, and that stubbornness is what will allow you to succeed - or allow you to fail until you succeed, and when you have laughed at me, and when I have laughed at you, and when you have left something sticky on the kitchen floor, and when you have refused to rinse out my wine glasses and smoothie cups and left a valiant display of dirty kitchenware lined up in front of the microwave, and then you have also refused to do your dishes because you have been at double football practice, and when the puppy breaks open the trash you didn't take out, and when you record Empire and Scandal for me because you know I have an event to go to, and when you ask me 'where I think I'm going'  because you know my 'get-up' is so fantastic, and when you tell me not to walk you into your friends' house - but then you tell me it's ok as long as I wear something cute and do my hair, and when you eat up all of the waffles and cereal and chicken and juice and bread in 3 days flat like you are training for a marathon -- when you know I warned you to "ration" lol, and now you are upset because the fridge only has healthy food left in it, and you don't like kale, quinoa, or spinach and now you want to go to In-N-Out, Chik-Fil-A, or Wing Stop, and when you say curse words and I don't correct you because I have a potty mouth too - but I should and you know better, and when you take my kindness for weakness yet again, because you always take my inch into miles over miles again, and, you are so sweet to me when I'm sick or when I'm busy, and at any moment at any split second if I say "let's go, Tye," you are ready - because you are mine, my mini-me, and our unconventionally-flawed little family is bigger and better than any of that fake sh*t and I love our chaos, remember adversity always makes you better, and even though you have an adorable little girlfriend now, and you are growing up so fast and so crazy and having so much fun, you should know that you are simply the best thing that has ever happened to me, or happened from me, or happened with me, or happened because of me ... because you are a better me. 


    Happy 16th Birthday to my son. My love for you is beyond skies. 







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